The $5,000 FILTER.

Last week I made a $5,000 bet with the always illustrious and creative Marcus Price in regards to me NOT dating anyone until July 5th of this year. No girlfriends, no lovers, a total drought.

No dates, a monkish existence, for 5 months.

In cogitating upon this premise (and agreeing to this INSANE wager) I realized that there is suddenly 5,000 reasons to be much more selective in whom I spend my time with.

If I want to be with someone BEFORE July 5th it will cost me $5,000!

Is she worth it?

Of course, I know some of you might ask, how will Marcus know if I stray off the reservation?

There exists an honor system between Marcus and I, and one component of this internal restraint is an element of character and honesty. We all need more of THAT.

Marcus also installed a camera in my bedroom.

Kidding, but I would NOT put that past him…….

But really, this $5,000 is one hell of a filter. I have to pay $5,000 to date someone, kiss someone, etc….

She really must be very special if I can’t wait until July 5th.

My other thought is this; perhaps I’ll develop a friendship with someone special and just HOLD OFF until July 5th. No harm in that, really. I’m allowed to hang out with friends, do cool stuff, work out, do comedy shows, act in a musical, sell Goin’ Postal franchises, close solar deals, go ax throwing, etc.

All social activities.

Maybe I’ll get some new ink?

New horizons, new adventures….

Ben Alexander

February 2022

Crunching it.

I joined the local Crunch for a few reasons:

  1. Lift weights and get stronger.
  2. Slim down while doing so.
  3. Get around an environment of healthy people doing healthy things.
  4. One more way to get out of my house / have something to do.

Don’t get me wrong, my house is perfectly fine… but I have TOO MUCH spare time, along with a 30 pound SPARE TIRE around my waist.

Sexy, eh?

The last few years I’ve spent too much time staring at YouTube,, Facebook and Netflix.

Good for entertainment value, bad for my overall physical health.

If you read my previous post about monks y’all know I’m on a “dating fast” until July 5th…

When there’s $5,000 on the line I take that shizz seriously, who wouldn’t?

Crunch is open from 5AM to 11PM at night… and they have every type of weight and exercise machine one can conjure up. I can go there anytime, really.

But (or maybe BUTT) there is also that environment, the pulsing music, people in great shape, doing healthy things… if I just went there for 1 hour per WEEK I would be inspired to get healthier.

Some of the guys at crunch are built like Marvel superheros. I wanna look like THAT.

Most of the folks (at the Crunch I go to) are younger than me and in better shape, God Bless Them!

I just want to look BETTER in 6 months than I look NOW.

Better is good.

I can workout with limited equipment at home, but I’m totally alone.

My sound system is paltry, so is my weight equipment.

This is a new year, a new start, and I’m NOT happy with what I see in the mirror, and especially how I look in my comedy videos when I’m onstage.

I want to be HAPPY with what I see in the mirror, and if I have to spend 3 or 4 hours a week at Crunch I’ll do it.

Less YouTube rabbit holes, more Crunch.

Let’s see where I’m at by the end of 2022.

Ben Alexander

January 31rst : 2022