For a long time it had been building up inside me, this tremendous sorrow. I’m not really sure where it came from, I had a happy childhood, no one close to me has died in 20 years…

But I just felt… sad.

I suppose this is better than anger. Anger is toxic, destructive… rarely good for one’s health.

Sorrow, tears, sadness in general… the good side is that we see others with more compassion, more understanding. Hard to have a raging ego when you are crying with someone, so that is a good thing.

Maybe it came from the break-up of my marriage in 2017, maybe it came from breaking up with Winni after we dated in 2019 and 2020.

I had really loved her and the kids…

Maybe it was the isolation of Covid, being away from the folks at my church…

Maybe it was almost dying one Sunday afternoon (in early 2021) on my motorcycle.

When I decided to go to Ukraine I felt that sadness even more, especially when I saw the news reports.

But… when I was over there, volunteering, doing small things, helping raise money for a church van… hanging out with Reverend Volodymyr Prokip… my sadness grew smaller.

I started to feel better.

Being around the young people in the church, praying with them, just talking with them…

God was with me, right there in Lviv, working on my heart.

God never left me, this entire time.

God is with you, right now, if you feel sad, especially if you are sad and alone, He is with you.

There is a Light that shines in all of us, if we are open to that Light.

God was there, when Volodymyr and I talked about Faith, late into the night.

I’m grateful to have met Volodymyr and the folks at his church, I’m so grateful that I could be there with them.

When the air sirens began I wasn’t afraid, because I was supposed to be THERE in that moment.

Now that I’m back home I realize that going to Ukraine lifted that sadness. I no longer feel alone.

Of course, someone I met over there is coming here in a week…. with her daughter…. so that might be a part of it as well!

New beginnings?

The Lord works in mysterious ways, indeed.

Ben Alexander

May 21 : 2022