Cool stuff I would teach my son.

Uncle Sam 2014

I was blessed to have 2 daughters, and they were very girly girls with feminine interests.

Growing up they had zero interest in flying airplanes, riding motorcycles or shooting carbon fiber arrows with my compound bow. When I bought a pair of drywall stilts and did the “Uncle Sam” gig for the 4rth of July they didn’t even want to learn how to walk on stilts!

That’s me above, with 2 beautiful ladies from the Wesley Chapel Rotary club.

So IF I had a son this is some stuff I would teach him:

#1. Start lifting weights in your teens and take advantage of all that extra testosterone. You’ll look good and feel good, but understand that your newfound strength should be used towards noble purposes only. I was a lifeguard and a volunteer firefighter from my teens until my college years. Your role as a strong young man is to PROTECT those who are weaker than you. If you see someone getting bullied step in and help them out, even if that puts you at a social disadvantage, even if you have to punch someone in the head.

#2. Take on responsibility and grow into it. As a lifeguard I had to make sure little kids did NOT drown and this had life and death consequences. Society trusted me to take on this responsibility, at $9 per hour! When you are granted responsibility take this very seriously, you won’t become a man until you can be trusted with responsibility.

#3. Don’t grow facial hair if it barely comes in and looks wispy. Horrible look. I didn’t let me facial hair grow in until I was in my 30’s. Shaving your face daily decreases acne because the razor defoliates the skin. I shave in the shower, less nicks. Also, keep your nails clipped and neat. Use deodorant and shower often or you’ll smell like a used gym sock. Just be impeccably clean as much as possible, the ladies will like you for it.

#4. On that note… always be kind and gentle with women. You might be strong but you don’t have to be rough. My Mom is 70 years old, I always kiss her on the cheek when I see her, and also when I leave. Hold doors for everyone, if you’re walking with a girl walk on the side of the sidewalk that faces the street. If you ever see a woman being mistreated by a man step in and knock him out if needed. It probably won’t come to that, but I’ll gladly pay your bail money.

#5. Totally avoid people who do drugs and drink excessively, they’ll drag you down into their world, and it leads nowhere. Surround yourself with the kids in your class who are the top students, top achievers, the kids who have big goals. That peer group will lift you up and encourage you to be your absolute BEST.

#6. Learn how basic mechanical things work; internal combustion engines, motorcycles, airplanes, HVAC systems, solar, etc. I started buying used tools when I was a 13 year old kid working for an auctioneer, I still have those tools today and use them! Learn how to chop down a tree with an ax. Think about the skills you would need if we lived in a post apocalyptic world and learn those skills! At some point take a construction or manual labor job and work your ass off. You’ll learn valuable skills and feel great (but tired) at the end of each day.

#7. Don’t neglect your intellect. Make sure you read books outside of your school assignments. It can be science fiction, history, biographies, etc. The leaders in your generation will be the young men who are readers today. Your mind should be a giant curious sponge. Read up on Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, the Founding Fathers, Jesus of Nazareth, etc. Reading about the great moral leaders of the last 2,000 years and think about how YOU could be a leader in your generation, in your school, in your community.

#8. Decide to be a man of character and integrity. Lying is complicated and leads nowhere, decide early on to adopt radical integrity into your life. Do the right thing even if that is not always the easiest thing.

#9. Set some BIG goals for your life and work like a dog towards those goals on a regular basis. My business partner was a Navy SEAL. He had big goals as a teen and went to the Naval Academy, became a SEAL and retired as a full Commander! Now he runs a successful company because of a goal he had 30 years ago. If you want to become President of the United States set that goal NOW and work towards it.

… this is just a short list, I’ll add more later.

Ben Alexander

Jan 18 / 2019

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Fasting + cold water swimming

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About six months ago I came across the concept of Intermittent Fasting on YouTube.

Basically this: just don’t eat from bedtime until later the next day. I cut out breakfast and ate a later lunch. Fasting is anti-aging, it also triggers more testosterone and HGH production in the body, which all men need after the age of 40.

If I have a day when I eat breakfast or lunch I’ll go back to IF the next day. I ate too much on New Year’s Eve, on January 1rst I started 2019 with a 24 hour fast.

When I tried fasting six months ago I made the mistake of having coffee with cream and sugar in the morning, this messed up my results.

I switched to JUST black tea in the morning (with no sugar or cream) and extended my fasts 16 to 20 hours. It took some time to do this, If I get past 1PM without eating I can go until 9PM that night, easy.

My and my sister Andrea decided to drop 15% of our body weight. She’s up in NJ, I’m down here in Florida, we text each other to stay accountable.

I ate dinner last night at 8PM, I will eat nothing today until 5:30PM, so that will be a 20 hour fast. I feel really great. The longest fast I tried thus far was 24 hours, I’m going to try a 36 hour fast in the next few weeks. The more you fast (and get rid of stomach bloat) the more you get used to it.

I’ve lost over 10 pounds of FAT, the spare tire is getting smaller.

I’ve also noticed that my workouts are BETTER at the end of a 16 or even 20 hour fast. I’ll hit a 55 degree pool this afternoon for about 10 laps, and feel like a million bucks after I get out of the pool.

Check out the YouTube videos from Wim Hof to learn about the benefits of cold water immersion, I’ve been swimming in an unheated pool year round since 2011. Tony Robbins is a big adherent to this philosophy as well.

Ben

January 2019

 

The Theory of Extenuating Externalities.

couple

The main challenge with relationships is that we seek to control things that we NEVER will control: whether the other person likes us, their level of integrity and character, their mental health, the other people they might be dating, etc.

In thinking about this, and in planning for 2019 I realized that the goals I set for myself by have to be totally apart from my social life.

For instance, you can’t really set any type of relationship goal because the other person represents an extenuating externality. I might be able to slightly influence the opposite gender, but the only factor I really have any control over is Ben Alexander.

In realizing this I was able to totally let go of any worries about dating, whether she likes me or not, even the question of whether there is someone out there who matches me.

For 2019 I’ve set three main goals:

#1. Help my sales team hit $1 million a month in closed deals. Our best month so far has been $624,000. We’ll hit the million mark, we’re 62% there.

#2. Pay off my humble little home. The sooner I get to the FIRST goal the sooner this goal will be accomplished.

#3. Treat fitness and health like a HOBBY and get into the best shape of my life. I’ve already lost 10 pounds since Christmas, and I feel like a million bucks.


-Ben Alexander

January 2019

A vision for a marriage.

 

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Please share this post, if my future wife reads this because YOU shared it I’ll invite you to the wedding, but DON’T share this unless you agree with the next few paragraphs.


I believe that VISION matters. When I was 29 years old I had a vision for a national company, within 5 years that business was in 17 cities across the USA.

2 years ago I was determined to get into the solar business. Last month my solar company sold over $600,000 in residential solar installs.

The vision that I have today is for the marriage I want to have for the rest of my life. I believe that we can speak (or write) our future into existence. The reason I need your help is that the woman I’m meant to be with might not KNOW me yet, so here goes…

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I’m going to be married again, to a wonderful woman that I will cherish until the day I die. I’m going to completely give her my heart, and she will know every single day how much I love her.

I’m going to hold her and kiss her with passion every night, and do small things each day to show her she is loved. We’ll be that 85 year-old couple that’s still holding hands and laughing together.  

I believe that passion can last a lifetime, if the couple is determined to keep that passion alive and burning.

From the first day we meet I’m going to have the utmost integrity and character with her, I will NEVER give her a reason to NOT trust me and she will know that my word is my bond. I have a tremendous work ethic, and my finances are rock solid. My wife will never have to worry about the bills getting paid. Financial stress does not exist when you earn two or three times what you spend!  

I will be her rock, her center, her protector. She will feel safe with me by her side, and she’ll have my back as well, knowing that 2 people in a great marriage are much stronger when in alignment.

We’ll read and travel the world and try new things together, sharing a life of abundance and intellectual curiosity and community service. The world will be better because of the business, charity or investment that we put together and implement. We will always have an interesting project in the works, even when I’m 75 years old… it won’t get dull, that’s for sure!

I’ll grow close with her family and she’ll grow close with mine, and as we get older we’ll have some wonderful memories with the kids and grandkids and siblings and cousins and that entire crazy mix of folks we call family.

When we’ve been married 30 years people will see us together and they will know we have something really special, it will still be obvious in the way I look at her, talk to her, hold her hand….


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Ok folks. That’s my vision. I probably haven’t met her YET. Maybe she is somewhere in my social network; the friend of a friend… who knows?

Thanks for sharing!

Ben Alexander

TampaBaySolar.com

January 2019

 

 

Masculine / Feminine Energy

Image result for yin yang

In my personal exploration of dating it was inevitable that my studies would circle back to the role of masculine and feminine energy and how that flows within relationships.

There is a widespread societal messaging that “masculine” is bad, toxic, negative etc.

Masculine energy is really just a tool, I can take a hammer and frame up a house, or I can use that same hammer to smash a window and start a riot. Masculine energy devoid of honor or decency becomes the rapist, the stalker, the predator.

Masculine energy in the right direction can protect society, get work done, and forge amazing leaders. Think about soldiers, firefighters and police, and leaders like FDR, MLK Jr, Ronald Reagan, etc.

In the last 40 years the feminist movement has championed the concept of strong and independent women, so now we have women channeling masculine energy, and the highest divorce rate in human history!

I have 2 daughters, and I want them to be strong, independent women… but I think we’ve gone a little too far in encouraging women to be MORE masculine, while encouraging our boys to be less.

We all know the married couple in which the wife is dominant and masculine, she runs the show… and her emasculated (weak) husband just follows along.

This is the couple that hasn’t slept together in the last year…

When a man maintains his masculine energy in the relationship the woman will respect him and desire him, when that respect diminishes so does her desire for that man.

If I’m on a date with a woman and I sense that she’s channeling 100% masculine energy I ask for the check and leave. I’m looking for a partner who embraces her feminine side, and I have no problem bringing my masculine energy to that relationship.

I’m not saying that a man should be domineering or controlling, a great marriage is a partnership, but the man should be the rock and a source of centered strength for his woman, and the woman should allow herself to be feminine within the arms of her man.

The 50 year married couples that I’ve known in my life has effectively channeled both energies and maintained respect for each other over the years. If I’m blessed enough to be married again I’m going to do whatever is needed to earn the respect of my wife, while at the same time working with her to build a wonderful life together.

Ben Alexander

Jan 8 / 2019

 

 

 

 

Masculinity, Duty, Honor.

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I bought my first compound bow when I was a 14 year old kid, I would target shoot in my parent’s backyard in Mullica Hill. As I got older I bought better equipment, the rig pictured above is my Oneida recurve / hybrid / compound with carbon fiber arrows.

I bought it because it looks cool, I practiced until I could nail a soda can at 40 yards.

If someone is ever dumb enough to break into my home in the middle of the night they’ll probably feel the arrow as it enters their chest before they hear any sound at all. If the bow fails I don’t mind going in close quarters with a baseball bat, ax, knife, etc…

I have 2 daughters sleeping under my roof, so if you threaten them you threaten everything I hold near and dear. My duty is to protect my girls, using any means at hand.

For several years back in the 1990’s I served as a volunteer firefighter and went headlong into many dangerous situations. I was in optimal shape back then, and I loved the wild adrenaline rush of getting into my turn-out gear, strapping on 50 pounds of breathing equipment and doing what had to be done.

As a man blessed with physical strength and aggression I have the ability and obligation to protect anyone around me who is NOT strong. At the same time I’m duty-bound to NEVER use that aggression in a way that threatens any woman or child.

Masculine energy and strength should only be used to protect those in society who need protection, but it has to be used with honor and integrity.

We don’t need to get rid of or diminish masculine energy, but we need to teach our boys that their role is to PROTECT others, at all times.  

I’m glad the #MeTOO movement gave a public face to all the rapists and sexual predators in the entertainment industry. Men like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby all need to be dropped into a 1,000 foot hole and buried alive. These men could have used their talents and strength to help women and lift them up… instead they will go down in history as monsters.

I’m single now, and when I go on a date my role is to make her feel safe. If I pick her up at her home I’m going to get her back home safely. If she wants me to kiss her at the end of the night this is very obvious. If she leans towards me and I lean towards her…

We need more men in our society who channel their masculine energy in the right way, and we need to teach our boys about the duty and honor they have within the wider social contract to help others when needed.

Ben Alexander

January 2019

 

 

Health as a lifelong Hobby

andrea

Have you ever woken up with sciatic pain so bad that you can’t walk?

I have.

How about 30 pounds overweight with borderline high blood pressure as well?

That was my life back in September of 2018. I started going to Dr. Gary Torres every 2 weeks, he did acupuncture and chiropractic and I started to get better.

I’m pain free today with no drugs, no surgery! I’m back riding my motorcycle and doing normal stuff. I can even go up on a roof and look at a solar array without tumbling off!

For 2019 me and my sister Andrea (pictured above) decided to drop 15% of our body weight in order to make it to 2020 lighter and healthier. My goal weight is 178 pounds, Andrea’s goal weight is a closely guarded government secret.

She’s my accountability partner in this, so it will be fun, and since I’m single I have a great reason to slim down and stay that way. Most ladies want to date a guy in better shape, and I look better when I’m leaner.

Last year I discovered Intermittent Daily Fasting, but I failed to do it often enough. I discovered that I felt really good if I fasted 20 hours each day, and really bloated when I didn’t! This time I’m going to hold fast to IDF, only tea all day (with nothing added) until a healthy dinner after 5 or 6PM.

My stomach has gotten smaller even with my inconsistent fasting, so I no longer have the capacity to eat a ton of food. I want to see what happens if I do 20 hour fasts every day for multiple weeks.

If you’ve never tried IDF take a minute and watch Thomas Delauer’s clips on YouTube. Everything that he says is true; you feel better, less bloated, more aware, etc.. 5,000 years of medical wisdom from India and China probably has some wisdom in it.

Speaking of China… my health journey would be incomplete without acupuncture and chiropractic. Before my sciatica hit a few months ago I had not gone to see Dr. Torres in many years, and my lower back and shoulders were really out of whack.

I’m determined now to visit with Dr. Torres once a month or so to stay healthy. I pay him out of pocket, but if I lose weight and I’m pain free I can earn far more money and enjoy a much better lifestyle. Worth it. Your health is your WEALTH.

The other part of this picture is the Fitbit on my wrist. 10,000 steps per day, as my schedule allows. Yesterday I did 4,000 steps just climbing up on my roof and taking down my Christmas lights! I also knock on doors to generate solar leads… so 10,000 steps a day is a nice baseline for my health. If I get to the end of the day and I’m at 8,000 steps I just go out and walk around my neighborhood for 20 minutes.

The other piece is regular swimming in the large community pool in my subdivision. I’ve been swimming for many years, but my diet was poor. With the fasting, acupuncture and 10,000 steps the swimming works my upper body and rounds things out.

The last piece is yoga. I’ve been doing some yoga poses and getting more flexible. There are many people older than 100 years old who still do yoga and are also mentally sharp, active and healthy. There is no doubt that yoga does some very beneficial things to the human body that we don’t fully understand.

I might join a yoga studio, still kicking that idea around……………………….

In all I’m approaching my health as a daily hobby, spending some time and money on making my physical reality as optimized as possible at my age.

In summary: Fasting,  Acupuncture / Chiro , 10,000 steps, swimming + yoga!

If you would like to join our accountability group let me know!

Ben Alexander

January 4rth, 2019