Masculine / Feminine Energy

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In my personal exploration of dating it was inevitable that my studies would circle back to the role of masculine and feminine energy and how that flows within relationships.

There is a widespread societal messaging that “masculine” is bad, toxic, negative etc.

Masculine energy is really just a tool, I can take a hammer and frame up a house, or I can use that same hammer to smash a window and start a riot. Masculine energy devoid of honor or decency becomes the rapist, the stalker, the predator.

Masculine energy in the right direction can protect society, get work done, and forge amazing leaders. Think about soldiers, firefighters and police, and leaders like FDR, MLK Jr, Ronald Reagan, etc.

In the last 40 years the feminist movement has championed the concept of strong and independent women, so now we have women channeling masculine energy, and the highest divorce rate in human history!

I have 2 daughters, and I want them to be strong, independent women… but I think we’ve gone a little too far in encouraging women to be MORE masculine, while encouraging our boys to be less.

We all know the married couple in which the wife is dominant and masculine, she runs the show… and her emasculated (weak) husband just follows along.

This is the couple that hasn’t slept together in the last year…

When a man maintains his masculine energy in the relationship the woman will respect him and desire him, when that respect diminishes so does her desire for that man.

If I’m on a date with a woman and I sense that she’s channeling 100% masculine energy I ask for the check and leave. I’m looking for a partner who embraces her feminine side, and I have no problem bringing my masculine energy to that relationship.

I’m not saying that a man should be domineering or controlling, a great marriage is a partnership, but the man should be the rock and a source of centered strength for his woman, and the woman should allow herself to be feminine within the arms of her man.

The 50 year married couples that I’ve known in my life has effectively channeled both energies and maintained respect for each other over the years. If I’m blessed enough to be married again I’m going to do whatever is needed to earn the respect of my wife, while at the same time working with her to build a wonderful life together.

Ben Alexander

Jan 8 / 2019

 

 

 

 

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Masculinity, Duty, Honor.

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I bought my first compound bow when I was a 14 year old kid, I would target shoot in my parent’s backyard in Mullica Hill. As I got older I bought better equipment, the rig pictured above is my Oneida recurve / hybrid / compound with carbon fiber arrows.

I bought it because it looks cool, I practiced until I could nail a soda can at 40 yards.

If someone is ever dumb enough to break into my home in the middle of the night they’ll probably feel the arrow as it enters their chest before they hear any sound at all. If the bow fails I don’t mind going in close quarters with a baseball bat, ax, knife, etc…

I have 2 daughters sleeping under my roof, so if you threaten them you threaten everything I hold near and dear. My duty is to protect my girls, using any means at hand.

For several years back in the 1990’s I served as a volunteer firefighter and went headlong into many dangerous situations. I was in optimal shape back then, and I loved the wild adrenaline rush of getting into my turn-out gear, strapping on 50 pounds of breathing equipment and doing what had to be done.

As a man blessed with physical strength and aggression I have the ability and obligation to protect anyone around me who is NOT strong. At the same time I’m duty-bound to NEVER use that aggression in a way that threatens any woman or child.

Masculine energy and strength should only be used to protect those in society who need protection, but it has to be used with honor and integrity.

We don’t need to get rid of or diminish masculine energy, but we need to teach our boys that their role is to PROTECT others, at all times.  

I’m glad the #MeTOO movement gave a public face to all the rapists and sexual predators in the entertainment industry. Men like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby all need to be dropped into a 1,000 foot hole and buried alive. These men could have used their talents and strength to help women and lift them up… instead they will go down in history as monsters.

I’m single now, and when I go on a date my role is to make her feel safe. If I pick her up at her home I’m going to get her back home safely. If she wants me to kiss her at the end of the night this is very obvious. If she leans towards me and I lean towards her…

We need more men in our society who channel their masculine energy in the right way, and we need to teach our boys about the duty and honor they have within the wider social contract to help others when needed.

Ben Alexander

January 2019

 

 

Health as a lifelong Hobby

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Have you ever woken up with sciatic pain so bad that you can’t walk?

I have.

How about 30 pounds overweight with borderline high blood pressure as well?

That was my life back in September of 2018. I started going to Dr. Gary Torres every 2 weeks, he did acupuncture and chiropractic and I started to get better.

I’m pain free today with no drugs, no surgery! I’m back riding my motorcycle and doing normal stuff. I can even go up on a roof and look at a solar array without tumbling off!

For 2019 me and my sister Andrea (pictured above) decided to drop 15% of our body weight in order to make it to 2020 lighter and healthier. My goal weight is 178 pounds, Andrea’s goal weight is a closely guarded government secret.

She’s my accountability partner in this, so it will be fun, and since I’m single I have a great reason to slim down and stay that way. Most ladies want to date a guy in better shape, and I look better when I’m leaner.

Last year I discovered Intermittent Daily Fasting, but I failed to do it often enough. I discovered that I felt really good if I fasted 20 hours each day, and really bloated when I didn’t! This time I’m going to hold fast to IDF, only tea all day (with nothing added) until a healthy dinner after 5 or 6PM.

My stomach has gotten smaller even with my inconsistent fasting, so I no longer have the capacity to eat a ton of food. I want to see what happens if I do 20 hour fasts every day for multiple weeks.

If you’ve never tried IDF take a minute and watch Thomas Delauer’s clips on YouTube. Everything that he says is true; you feel better, less bloated, more aware, etc.. 5,000 years of medical wisdom from India and China probably has some wisdom in it.

Speaking of China… my health journey would be incomplete without acupuncture and chiropractic. Before my sciatica hit a few months ago I had not gone to see Dr. Torres in many years, and my lower back and shoulders were really out of whack.

I’m determined now to visit with Dr. Torres once a month or so to stay healthy. I pay him out of pocket, but if I lose weight and I’m pain free I can earn far more money and enjoy a much better lifestyle. Worth it. Your health is your WEALTH.

The other part of this picture is the Fitbit on my wrist. 10,000 steps per day, as my schedule allows. Yesterday I did 4,000 steps just climbing up on my roof and taking down my Christmas lights! I also knock on doors to generate solar leads… so 10,000 steps a day is a nice baseline for my health. If I get to the end of the day and I’m at 8,000 steps I just go out and walk around my neighborhood for 20 minutes.

The other piece is regular swimming in the large community pool in my subdivision. I’ve been swimming for many years, but my diet was poor. With the fasting, acupuncture and 10,000 steps the swimming works my upper body and rounds things out.

The last piece is yoga. I’ve been doing some yoga poses and getting more flexible. There are many people older than 100 years old who still do yoga and are also mentally sharp, active and healthy. There is no doubt that yoga does some very beneficial things to the human body that we don’t fully understand.

I might join a yoga studio, still kicking that idea around……………………….

In all I’m approaching my health as a daily hobby, spending some time and money on making my physical reality as optimized as possible at my age.

In summary: Fasting,  Acupuncture / Chiro , 10,000 steps, swimming + yoga!

If you would like to join our accountability group let me know!

Ben Alexander

January 4rth, 2019

 

 

 

A good start to 2019.

On this first day of 2019 as the sun rises I’m surrounding myself with gorgeous music:

The first day of the year is a good time to reflect on the previous year, and look forward to the future.

2020 is just 52 weeks away… that date always felt like the distant future when I was growing up!

As each year passes I want to have progress in my life; better finances, more wisdom, etc.

I started 2018 by purchasing a wicked fast motorcycle, then I went out and rode the wheels off it, making my mother worried in the process. Truth is I only had one dicey moment in that entire year, on a country road on my 2nd day of ownership. I was going too fast into a curve and I hit the rear brakes too aggressively causing the rear wheel to slide at 70 mph. My guardian angel was paying attention that night, for sure.

Of course, I also drove 40,000 miles in my Chevy Volt selling solar from Citrus County all the way down to Naples. This was certainly the best sales year I’ve had in my entire career, I closed around $3 million dollars in personal solar sales.

When 2018 started I had NO sales team to speak of, now I have six guys who actually came together in December and closed $617,000 in solar deals. That was a record month for us.

My team was closing deals until 7PM New Year’s Eve!

I spent a ton of time working with my team in 2018, getting to know them, teaching them sales, running sales appointments… this was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done professionally. Sometimes I invested in people and they did not work out, but I did my level best to bring everyone to success.

Towards the end of 2018 I taught the Debt Free class at Harvester Methodist in Land ‘O Lakes, and I also continued to pay off my mortgage.  My goal is to pay off my home THIS YEAR, so I’m keeping my lifestyle low key while I do that.

2018 was the first year I lived AN ENTIRE YEAR on less than HALF of my income, and living in this manner totally eliminated financial stress from my life. When I had a big month I merely paid off MORE of my mortgage, when I had a more modest month I didn’t worry about it at all!

The one exception to my frugal lifestyle was the purchase of my motorcycle.

In September my sciatica started acting up and I reconnected with Dr. Gary Torres, Dr. Torres does acupuncture and chiropractic. He got me walking again, and I’m determined to maintain my health BETTER in 2019.

In the least few months I started using Intermittent Fasting and doing some light YOGA !!!!!!!!!!

Yoga is truly the Fountain of Youth, there are many YouTube videos featuring 100 year old folks in good health doing yoga. Amazing stuff, between the acupuncture and yoga one of my goals is to achieve optimal health in 2019…. and not just a diet, but a better lifestyle. Sciatica sucks, so does excess body fat and stiff joints!

You have to go into 2019 with an intentional path, otherwise the year will just slide past.

My biggest professional goal (in 2019) is to help my solar team get to $1 million a month in sales. Let’s see if we can do that… we were already at 60% of that goal last month.

I hope you have a great 2019, despite politics, despite bad stuff in the news.

God Bless!

Ben Alexander

January 2019……………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

A Mission vs. a Living

May 2011 , car, Pigfest 060house with solar

For 14 years I owned a company that I was NOT passionate about, but it made me a living. It paid the bills, it got me 8 minutes of fame.

I was making a living, meh.

The day I sold that company was like a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders.

2 years ago I jumped fully into the solar biz and I found a MISSION that also helped me earn a decent living.

Every man needs a MISSION that ignites his passion and stretches him to his full talents and abilities. Solar gave me that, and now I’m building a sales team that shares my mission, my passion, and my purpose.

I feel very lucky to have aligned my income with my mission, most people are not that fortunate.

I get up six days each week excited and ready to go.

If you can find YOUR mission try to align that with your career. I tripled my income when that happened and my work became more meaningful. One of the main reasons I’ve found success is that my clients can see that passion in me, and want to do business WITH me.

This is not just another dumb sales job for me, and that makes a huge difference.

In 2019 Tampa Bay Solar is starting a program that identifies families who have lost a breadwinner due to combat (or in service as a firefighter or police officer) and we are installing one free solar array each month to help these families get rid of their energy costs.

If you know of a family that owns a home and has lost a breadwinner to death or disability please reach out to me via this blog,

Thanks!

Ben Alexander

January 2019

 

 

Solar for families of the Fallen.

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Starting in 2019 Tampa Bay Solar will donate one rooftop solar array per MONTH to a family in need.

We are looking for homeowners that have lost a breadwinner to either disability or death in service to our country. The home must have a south facing roof for the system to be the most effective.

As a veteran-owned organization we are aware of the financial struggles that a family faces when they lose a spouse or parent’s income.

The system will be a 16 panel solar array with an inverter, and this will lower the electric bill about $1,200 per year for the family in need. Since rooftop solar lasts 30 to 40 years this will have a long-term benefit for the family, and if they sell the home in the future they can also sell their home for a higher price.

Solar on a roof is the gift that keeps on giving!

If you know of a family in Tampa Bay that meets this criteria please reach out to me via the comments section of this blog,

Thanks, and Happy New Year!

Ben Alexander

Sales Director

TampaBaySolar.com

January 2019

Ha, kids don’t scare me!

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This is me and my daughter Claire, the picture was taken when she was 10 years old… she’s in her third year of college now!

I was married for 20 years, and during that time both my daughters grew up and I was able to be there for them. I ran my company out of my home, so I was there when they left for school in the morning and there when they came home. In a few weeks my girls will be 19 and 21 years old! My youngest (Grace) is away at college, and Claire is home with me, she commutes to school and also works full time.

In many ways I had it easy, my girls were smart and self disciplined, they were always pretty good at doing homework and their mother made sure they got to violin lessons every Friday night without fail. They had the usual teen drama between ages 13 to 17, but other than that I never felt overwhelmed as a parent.

I’m really proud to say that my daughters have reached adulthood and they are strong, confident young women, with a great moral compass and a strong work ethic. Both girls will finish their degree with no college debt and a decent GPA, what more can a parent ask for at this stage in the game?

I’m single now, and my role at Tampa Bay Solar gives me the time and income to do what ever I want. I just finished my 3rd book, and I’m kicking around ideas for the next one… I’m 44 and single… and as crazy as this may sound I’m open to having more kids!

Some guys shy away from dating a single Mom. Maybe they fear the commitment, or they refuse to be involved with a child that is not biologically linked to them.

Kids don’t scare me. I’ve been there and done that. Diapers, tantrums, toys everywhere… all the chaos that ensues when miniature humans are running around the house. And I kinda miss it. I loved taking the kids to see Santa, or riding the rollercoaster at Busch Gardens, or going to see the animals at the zoo.

There is a ton of work with kids; meals that need to be cooked, clothes that need washing, books to be read at bedtime… but there is also a ton of silliness and laughter and joy in having a child in your life. I think the joy makes the hard work worth it.

I might be single for the next decade, and if there’s a child in my life they’ll call me “Grandpa”, and that would be ok. We all take on different roles in different seasons of our lives… but I don’t mind being “Dad” again. I still have plenty of awful jokes to share.

Ben Alexander

December 2018